American I Dough
Crystal Bowersox's lyrical gaffe on Beatles' Come Together was mostly substituting "coca cola" for "mojo filter" in final verse. "Coca cola" was used earlier in the song correctly, so she evidently had the show's big sponsor on her mind.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
American Idol Meets the Rolling Stones
Which Rolliing Stones songs should they sing on American Idol?
American Idol--week of the Final 12 (Pick 6)
Some Rolling Stones songs good for a female vocalist:
Wild Horses*
You Can't Always Get what You Want*
Heart of Stone*
Lies
Come On
Bitch
Gimme Shelter
Under My Thumb*
Paint It Black
Happy
Shattered
Tumbling Dice (it's already been covered by e.g. Linda Ronstadt)
Last Time
That's How Strong My Love Is
*Of course, several of these would need to have the lyrics modified slightly (to keep them heterosexual): for example "he's under my thumb". Actually, it's surprising just how many of 'em don't require any lyric changes, and the ones that do--not that much.
So how did it turn out?
They (the women) sang:
Wild Horses
You Can't Always Get...
Paint It Black
Ruby Tuesday
Play with Fire
Honky Tonk Woman
Pretty safe--they're all on Hot Rocks (I). I'm not sure they actually made gender change in lyrics in Wild Horses, Can't Always Get, or Ruby Tuesday (poss. not necessary in this one--or even the other two, for that matter). They did make the changes w/Honky Tonk.
Conclusion: Despite being at times quite sexist, the music of the Rolling Stones is surprisingly adaptable to a female singer. This is particularly so when you consider the possibilities of irony and parody--issues of a greater complexity than something like American idol presents, short of Adam Lambert.
Cover artists, and even original songwriters, might do well to contemplate greater unisexuality in this era of greater gender equality. Of course, it also doesn't hurt to have a ton of great songs to choose from, like The Stones.
Ditto as regards Bruce Springsteen--although his music is entirely different in tone from the Stones. A talented female vocalist could probably pull off a lot of it as there is a substantial amount of tenderness, pathos, sentimentality, melodrama, romanticism, etc. throughout his repertory.
Some good Bossongs for female vocalist: Factory, Cover Me, Price You Pay, Point Black, 57 Channels, Incident on 57th St., NY City Serenade, Dancin' in the Dark, Does this Bus Stop at 82nd St., Brilliant Disguise, Human Touch, 10th Ave. Freeze-Out, Kitty's Back, Rising, Bobby Jean, Ties that Bind, Two Hearts, Workin' on a Dream, Wreck on the Highway, The Way, Thunder Road, I'm a Rocker, My Love Will Not Let You Down, Car Wash...
Steven (Kearney) Starjet
American Idol--week of the Final 12 (Pick 6)
Some Rolling Stones songs good for a female vocalist:
Wild Horses*
You Can't Always Get what You Want*
Heart of Stone*
Lies
Come On
Bitch
Gimme Shelter
Under My Thumb*
Paint It Black
Happy
Shattered
Tumbling Dice (it's already been covered by e.g. Linda Ronstadt)
Last Time
That's How Strong My Love Is
*Of course, several of these would need to have the lyrics modified slightly (to keep them heterosexual): for example "he's under my thumb". Actually, it's surprising just how many of 'em don't require any lyric changes, and the ones that do--not that much.
So how did it turn out?
They (the women) sang:
Wild Horses
You Can't Always Get...
Paint It Black
Ruby Tuesday
Play with Fire
Honky Tonk Woman
Pretty safe--they're all on Hot Rocks (I). I'm not sure they actually made gender change in lyrics in Wild Horses, Can't Always Get, or Ruby Tuesday (poss. not necessary in this one--or even the other two, for that matter). They did make the changes w/Honky Tonk.
Conclusion: Despite being at times quite sexist, the music of the Rolling Stones is surprisingly adaptable to a female singer. This is particularly so when you consider the possibilities of irony and parody--issues of a greater complexity than something like American idol presents, short of Adam Lambert.
Cover artists, and even original songwriters, might do well to contemplate greater unisexuality in this era of greater gender equality. Of course, it also doesn't hurt to have a ton of great songs to choose from, like The Stones.
Ditto as regards Bruce Springsteen--although his music is entirely different in tone from the Stones. A talented female vocalist could probably pull off a lot of it as there is a substantial amount of tenderness, pathos, sentimentality, melodrama, romanticism, etc. throughout his repertory.
Some good Bossongs for female vocalist: Factory, Cover Me, Price You Pay, Point Black, 57 Channels, Incident on 57th St., NY City Serenade, Dancin' in the Dark, Does this Bus Stop at 82nd St., Brilliant Disguise, Human Touch, 10th Ave. Freeze-Out, Kitty's Back, Rising, Bobby Jean, Ties that Bind, Two Hearts, Workin' on a Dream, Wreck on the Highway, The Way, Thunder Road, I'm a Rocker, My Love Will Not Let You Down, Car Wash...
Steven (Kearney) Starjet
Monday, March 15, 2010
First Contact Opportunity: Zavijava Could Be the One
A perceptive amateur astronomer could play a key role in first extraterrestrial contact. Numerous successful asteroid/comet hunters and nova finders can attest that a lot can be said for looking in the right place at the right time. This time, it could be you.
There is a chance that some ETI or other would try to contact us from light-years away. A smart ETI may rightly suppose our resources for listening are limited, and so toss us an easy pitch to hit--timing-wise. The hours of transit are the most logical landmark event in space-time for them to use as they represent a predictable, recurring phenomenon. They'd simply need to have a good fix on our distance from them and orbital period in order to time their signal so that it reaches here at the transit event.
To make the most of these situations, we could program an antenna to pretty much follow the "anti-Sun" around the ecliptic--flitting from star-to-star like a hummingbird in a flower garden.
It would make sense to focus on nearby promising stars, such as Zavijava in Virgo (aka beta-Virginis). This ecliptic star, ranked #12 on the Terrestrial Planet Finder list, is very much like the Sun (type F8 to Sun's G2; similar estimated age). Zavijava is the nearest single,stable, Sun-like star located on the ecliptic. Transits of planets can only be observed from points along the ecliptic. Earth transits for Zavijava right around March 21-22, annually. Hope springs eternal.
So, potentially scheduled to arrive here March 21/22, any year: a contacting signal sent our way from a planet (or moon) orbiting the 3.61-magnitude star Zavijava in the constellation Virgo, timed so that that it would reach Earth just as we're transiting in front of the Sun from their viewing angle.
While it is hoped that radio astronomers will be listening in, it is possible that such a signal would come optically as a nova-like laser pulse/flash--noticeable to the naked eye. Anybody could be the first contactee.
*It's quite possible that planetary/solar/stellar alignments--such as transits and conjunctions--are a standard timing mechanism for ETI contact signaling.
*Alignments are objective, significant, measurable, predictable, recurring phenomena. Objective in the sense that you can figure out what another party is seeing if you have sufficient measurement and observational skill to put up a comprehensive model of the sky from otherworldly viewpoints.
*Such astronomical research luminaries as Seth Shostak of the SETI Institute, Ray Villard of the Space Telescope Science Institute, Richard Conn Henry of Johns Hopkins, Steve Kilston of the Henry Foundation, and NASA astrophysicist Robin H. Corbet at Goddard Space Flight Center have advocated using transits for contact purposes.
"But why the star Zavijava?" you ask. "What makes it so special?"
Short Answer
A thorough study of relevant star charts and tables has led to the realization that Zavijava is the only single, stable, Sun-like star within 40 light years of us that is located on our ecliptic belt (aka the zodiac). The importance of the ecliptic is that it provides one with a privileged point-of-view for planetary transits and conjunctions.
Long Answer
Zavijava (aka beta-Virginis) is the star that best meets these seven criteria for high "contactability":
1) Single (it's not in a multiple star system);
2) Sun-like (it's a spectral type F9, which is very similar to the Sun's G2);
3) Stable (it's not a variable or flare star) for a good while--at least, say, 2 billion years;
4) High metal content (which is conducive to forming rocky planets: Zavijava's metallicity is a bit greater than the Sun's;
5) Old enough (to have given rise to an intelligent civilization. Zavijava age is estimated between 2.8 and 4.7 billion years--a decent chance to have been an ample amount of time)
6) Nearby (Zavijava lies a mere 35.6 light years away. To understand how near that is, if you imagine our galaxy being the size of the United States, then Zavijava's would be just 1 1/2 miles from us);
7) Being located on our ecliptic belt gives Zavijavanetis a privileged line-of-sight. The transit and conjunction phenomenon are perfectly logical timing tools--no hocus-pocus. All that's necessary is that the two parties be willing and able to put themselves in each others' shoes. That's something that many ordinary human adults do several times a day without too much difficulty. So there is no need to invoke futuristic technology like ESP, mind-reading, telepathy, time travel, quantum entanglement, or astrology for this scenario to work.
"But why now?" you may ask.
Zavijava's distance from Earth--35.6 LY--makes our present era a special one because the round-trip time for a signal--71.2 years is roughly equal to the amount of time that has passed since our first substantial TV broadcasts--in the 1930's.
So anyone there with a really good receiver might have begun watching our early TV programming--like the 1936 Berlin Olympics--around 1972, taken it in for a couple of years, and sent a review that we could be receiving right about now.. Eat your heart out, Jodie Foster. The scenario in the movie 'Contact' may truly be applicable to us, only the relevant star is Zavijava, not Vega (too young to have produced an intelligent civilization).
Default Contact Star: Rosetta Star
Skeptics might argue that the odds against an intelligent civilization having arisen in any particular star system could be astronomically high. However it may be worthwhile to consider the possibility that a sophisticated, mobile ETI would have a base on Zavijava from which they could transmit to Earth.
In the event that our section of the galaxy is already substantially settled, Zavijava may function as a sort of default mechanism for contact with Earth. That is to say, ETIs in some kind of federation would likely have an outreach committee responsible for drawing in any nascent civilizations. They would already be well aware of life on Earth and the emergence of human civilization, and could come here if they wanted.
But rules of protocol might favor signal transmissions from a moderate distance. Realizing the special status of Zavijava with respect to Earth--being a nearby sister of the Sun located in our ecliptic--they might set up a broadcasting station from that system, even if there is no native civilization in it, reasoning that we would likely be listening and looking for signals emanating from there.
Lightning in a Bottle
A galactic federation might be sure to contact an emerging civilization like Earth's before we go off colonizing other star systems because then we're potentially invading their realm. So their message to us may be part greeting, part warning.
Whatever the message, the first signal, if laser optical, will likely be meant to get our attention. You would just need to be looking for a bright flash at the right place and time in the night sky. Message details would follow in a suitable way via radio waves and can be processed by SETI professionals.
Culturally, Zavijava, or Al Zawiah, means angle or corner of the kennel of the barking dogs in Arabic. In its Greco-Roman mythological role of beta-Virginis, the star is positioned as the left shoulder of the maiden facing us.
Between Two Superstars
Of course, knowing where to look in the sky for Zavijava would be helpful, as it's not particularly bright (magnitude 3.61). Anyone in northern temperate latitudes who has spent time during the Spring or Summer looking southward in the night sky must be familiar with the brilliant blue star Spica (alpha-Virginis, magnitude 0.98 in the constellation Virgo). Moving westward, the next really bright star over is regal Regulus (alpha-Leonis, magnitude 1.36--in the adjacent constellation of Leo). Zavijava is the star of modest brightness most exactly midway between Spica and Regulus.
Sky Party
Being on the ecliptic makes Zavijava a sort of landmark for the planets as they go passing through. And it's also a golden opportunity to catch lightning in a bottle should Zavijavanetis be sending us a laser pulse just then. It would be quite a story if some amateur astronomers out photographing a nice conjunction look at the images they've taken and detect an anomalous brightness in one of the pictures--right where the star Zavijava should be barely visible.
The next big thing in this part of the sky, relevant to Zavijava, will probably be in October 2015. Venus Mars and Jupiter will form a tight 3-in-a-row (a la Orion's belt) points almost directly at Zavijava on October 22 and 28. The three also form a tight near-perfect isosceles triangle pointing directly at Zavijava along one of the long axes on Oct 15.
History Lessons
Zavijava already has been utilized by astronomers on at least one such occasion. In 1922, Arthur Eddington journeyed to Wallal, Australia and photographed Zavijava in conjunction with a total solar eclipse on September 21 in order to measure the angle of starlight deflection caused by the Sun's gravity. The results of this, and a few similar excursions, helped confirm Einstein's general theory of relativity--supplanting Newtonian mechanics. Some might wonder whether Eddington and his crew might have unwittingly received a message from Zavijavaland.
All nearby Sun-like stars, including Zavijava, have previously been surveyed for transmissions by SETI projects such as Phoenix, SERENDIP, Big Ear, META and BETA. However, there is no indication that timing was in any way a consideration. Project META recorded 37 anomalous transmissions that failed to recur upon follow-up--usually several days, weeks, or even months later. The randomness of such would have missed a transit-timing sender's likely repeat bursts over a one-to-two-day window or precisely a year later. Only BETA has had a mechanism for promptly double-checking promising signals. None have focused attention on the ecliptic belt or on longitudinal lines extended at transit/opposition time. For Zavijava, that time is right around March 21-22, annually.
Big Sister
Close examination of Zavijava reveals that, in comparison with the Sun, she is 25% more massive, 70% wider, 3.5x more luminous (with an absolute magnitude of 3.40), and 40% more metal-rich. You might say Zavijava is a bit more like the Sun's big sister than her twin or clone.
As a result of living large, Zavijava the star is not long for this world. Though stable for most of her life, Zavijava has already started to balloon up--the beginning of its dying throes. Any advanced planetary civilization there likely would have already done the equivalent of an Earth-to-Mars migration.
Naturally, they would also be looking for a longer term home--some place like Earth, perhaps. Having watched a few years' worth of our early TV programming, they may well figure that here is a nearby planet well-suited for life and presently being overrun by buffoons.
Some might misconstrue the absence of a signal from Zavijava as indicative of an impending sneak attack by them. With the little we know, cannot rule out the possibility of a huge flotilla of Zavijavanetis arriving anytime.
However, our Sun may have only 500 million to 1 billion years left before it starts acting up. So, we have reason to hope that outward-bound Zavijavanetis would take the high road and relocate to one or more of the many nearby red dwarf systems--terraforming planets there--instead of trying to take us over. Red dwarfs typically live 100 billion years.
So it's plausible that a Zavijavaneti society might not bother contacting us as their plate could be pretty full and there isn't much that we can do to help them out. On the other hand, they may have already moved elsewhere but left a monitoring/communications contingent there. It really wouldn't be much trouble, or take much equipment, to do stuff like signal us at least once every (Earth) year--say, at transit-time March 21-22. Hope does spring eternal.
TABLE
STAR LIST
Nearby single, Sun-like stars along the ecliptic (that might host habitable planets or moons of planets):
*Zavijava (aka beta-Virginis): RA 11.50.41.7, DEC +1.45.52.9 (ecliptic dec. is at approx. +2 at that RA), type F8 or F9, 35.6 LY away, magnitude 3.61, will be occulted by Venus in 2069, #12 TPF target.
*HD 172051 (aka HR 6998) (in Sagittarius): RA 18.38.53.49, DEC -21.03.06.7 (ecliptic dec. is at approx -23 at that RA), type G5, 42 LY away, magnitude 5.86, #98 TPF target.
*111 Tauri: RA 5.24, DEC +17.23, (ecliptic dec. is approx +20 at that RA), type F8, 48 LY away, magnitude 5.0, #40 TPF.
Nearby single, Sun-like stars fairly near ecliptic (that might host long-term habitable planets or moons of planets) :
*HD 192310 (aka HR 7722) (in Capricorn): RA 20.15, DEC -27.01 (ecliptic dec. is approx. -20 at that RA), type K0, 29 LY away, magnitude 5.73, #72 TPF.
*Iota Piscium: RA 23.39, DEC +5.37, (ecliptic dec. is approx. -2 at that RA), type F7, 45 LY away, magnitude 4.13, #23 TPF.
*Psi Capricornus: RA 20.46, DEC -25.16, (ecliptic dec. is appprox. -18 at that RA), type F5, 48 LY away, magnitude 4.13, #29 TPF.
*HR 7898 (in Capricorn): RA 20.40, DEC -23.46 (ecliptic dec. is approx.18 at that RA), type G8, 48 LY away, magnitude 6.36.
*Chi Cancri: RA 8.20, DEC +27.13, (ecliptic dec. is approx. +20 at that RA), type F6, 59 LY away, magnitude 5.13, #59 TPF.
Known nearby single stars along the ecliptic that are not like the Sun (but could conceivably host habitable planets or moons of planets--excludes flare stars)
*Teegarden's star: RA 2.53.00.85, DEC +16.52.53.3 (ecliptic dec. is approx. +16.3 at that RA), type M7 in Aries, 12 LY away, magnitude 15.
*Von Maanen's star (in Pisces): RA 00.49.09.8892, DEC +5.23.19.007 (ecliptic dec. is approx. +6 at that RA), warm white dwarf (6750 K), 14 LY away, magnitude 12.3.
Nearby single star fairly near the ecliptic and not like the Sun (but still considered possibly conducive to life):
*Gliese 876 (in Aquarius): RA 22.53, DEC -14.15, (ecliptic dec. is approx. -7 at that RA), type M4, 15 LY away, magnitude 10.17.
Within each group, stars are listed from near to far. Magnitudes are apparent. Variable stars are excluded.
Abbreviations: RA=right ascension; DEC=declination; approx.=approximately; TPF=Terrestrial Planet Finder mission.
ABBREVIATIONS
BETA=billion-channel extraterrestrial assay
DEC= declination
ETI=extraterrestrial intelligence
LY=light year
META=mega-channel extraterrestrial assay
NASA=national aeronautics and space administration
RA=right ascension
SETI=search for extraterrestrial intelligence
TPF=terrestrial planet finder
SOURCES
Corbet, Robin H.D., Synchronized SETI--The Case for "Opposition"; Astrobiology magazine, Mary Ann Liebert Inc., July 5, 2004.
Doyle, L.R., Deeg, H.J. and Jenkins, J.M., Discovering Worlds in Transit; Astronomy mag., 2001.
Kaler, Jim, Zavijava; on Stars website (accessed 2009).
Neave, Paul, planetarium website, 1999-2009.
Powell, Richard, Atlas of the Universe (website): Stars Within 50 Light Years, last updated July 30, 2006.
Red dwarf stars within 10 parsecs; Sol Company (website) 2005.
Scheffer, Lou, Aliens Can Watch 'I Love Lucy'; Contact in Context v2i1/lucy.pdf (website), accessed 2009.
Shostak, Seth, Cheap Communication Schemes for ETI; SETI Institute (online), April 1, 2004.
Shostak, Seth, Good Timing; SETI Insitute (seti.org), June 12, 2008.
Shostak, Seth, Making the Search Simple; SETI Institute (online), December 14, 2006.
Skindrud, Erik, The Big Question; Science News Online, September 7, 1996.
Sol Station.com, Zavijava (beta-Virginis) (website, accessed 2009).
Team Hopes to Use New Technology to Search for ET's (SETI Institute website), June 2, 2008.
Terrestrial Planet Finder article in State Master Encyclopedia (online),accessed 2009.
Wikipedia, List of Extrasolar Planets, (online encyclopedia) updated November 7, 2009.
Wikipedia, Occultation, accessed Nov. 2009.
Wikipedia, Zavijava, accessed October 2009.
Excerpt from Cosmic Web by Steve Kearney.
There is a chance that some ETI or other would try to contact us from light-years away. A smart ETI may rightly suppose our resources for listening are limited, and so toss us an easy pitch to hit--timing-wise. The hours of transit are the most logical landmark event in space-time for them to use as they represent a predictable, recurring phenomenon. They'd simply need to have a good fix on our distance from them and orbital period in order to time their signal so that it reaches here at the transit event.
To make the most of these situations, we could program an antenna to pretty much follow the "anti-Sun" around the ecliptic--flitting from star-to-star like a hummingbird in a flower garden.
It would make sense to focus on nearby promising stars, such as Zavijava in Virgo (aka beta-Virginis). This ecliptic star, ranked #12 on the Terrestrial Planet Finder list, is very much like the Sun (type F8 to Sun's G2; similar estimated age). Zavijava is the nearest single,stable, Sun-like star located on the ecliptic. Transits of planets can only be observed from points along the ecliptic. Earth transits for Zavijava right around March 21-22, annually. Hope springs eternal.
So, potentially scheduled to arrive here March 21/22, any year: a contacting signal sent our way from a planet (or moon) orbiting the 3.61-magnitude star Zavijava in the constellation Virgo, timed so that that it would reach Earth just as we're transiting in front of the Sun from their viewing angle.
While it is hoped that radio astronomers will be listening in, it is possible that such a signal would come optically as a nova-like laser pulse/flash--noticeable to the naked eye. Anybody could be the first contactee.
*It's quite possible that planetary/solar/stellar alignments--such as transits and conjunctions--are a standard timing mechanism for ETI contact signaling.
*Alignments are objective, significant, measurable, predictable, recurring phenomena. Objective in the sense that you can figure out what another party is seeing if you have sufficient measurement and observational skill to put up a comprehensive model of the sky from otherworldly viewpoints.
*Such astronomical research luminaries as Seth Shostak of the SETI Institute, Ray Villard of the Space Telescope Science Institute, Richard Conn Henry of Johns Hopkins, Steve Kilston of the Henry Foundation, and NASA astrophysicist Robin H. Corbet at Goddard Space Flight Center have advocated using transits for contact purposes.
"But why the star Zavijava?" you ask. "What makes it so special?"
Short Answer
A thorough study of relevant star charts and tables has led to the realization that Zavijava is the only single, stable, Sun-like star within 40 light years of us that is located on our ecliptic belt (aka the zodiac). The importance of the ecliptic is that it provides one with a privileged point-of-view for planetary transits and conjunctions.
Long Answer
Zavijava (aka beta-Virginis) is the star that best meets these seven criteria for high "contactability":
1) Single (it's not in a multiple star system);
2) Sun-like (it's a spectral type F9, which is very similar to the Sun's G2);
3) Stable (it's not a variable or flare star) for a good while--at least, say, 2 billion years;
4) High metal content (which is conducive to forming rocky planets: Zavijava's metallicity is a bit greater than the Sun's;
5) Old enough (to have given rise to an intelligent civilization. Zavijava age is estimated between 2.8 and 4.7 billion years--a decent chance to have been an ample amount of time)
6) Nearby (Zavijava lies a mere 35.6 light years away. To understand how near that is, if you imagine our galaxy being the size of the United States, then Zavijava's would be just 1 1/2 miles from us);
7) Being located on our ecliptic belt gives Zavijavanetis a privileged line-of-sight. The transit and conjunction phenomenon are perfectly logical timing tools--no hocus-pocus. All that's necessary is that the two parties be willing and able to put themselves in each others' shoes. That's something that many ordinary human adults do several times a day without too much difficulty. So there is no need to invoke futuristic technology like ESP, mind-reading, telepathy, time travel, quantum entanglement, or astrology for this scenario to work.
"But why now?" you may ask.
Zavijava's distance from Earth--35.6 LY--makes our present era a special one because the round-trip time for a signal--71.2 years is roughly equal to the amount of time that has passed since our first substantial TV broadcasts--in the 1930's.
So anyone there with a really good receiver might have begun watching our early TV programming--like the 1936 Berlin Olympics--around 1972, taken it in for a couple of years, and sent a review that we could be receiving right about now.. Eat your heart out, Jodie Foster. The scenario in the movie 'Contact' may truly be applicable to us, only the relevant star is Zavijava, not Vega (too young to have produced an intelligent civilization).
Default Contact Star: Rosetta Star
Skeptics might argue that the odds against an intelligent civilization having arisen in any particular star system could be astronomically high. However it may be worthwhile to consider the possibility that a sophisticated, mobile ETI would have a base on Zavijava from which they could transmit to Earth.
In the event that our section of the galaxy is already substantially settled, Zavijava may function as a sort of default mechanism for contact with Earth. That is to say, ETIs in some kind of federation would likely have an outreach committee responsible for drawing in any nascent civilizations. They would already be well aware of life on Earth and the emergence of human civilization, and could come here if they wanted.
But rules of protocol might favor signal transmissions from a moderate distance. Realizing the special status of Zavijava with respect to Earth--being a nearby sister of the Sun located in our ecliptic--they might set up a broadcasting station from that system, even if there is no native civilization in it, reasoning that we would likely be listening and looking for signals emanating from there.
Lightning in a Bottle
A galactic federation might be sure to contact an emerging civilization like Earth's before we go off colonizing other star systems because then we're potentially invading their realm. So their message to us may be part greeting, part warning.
Whatever the message, the first signal, if laser optical, will likely be meant to get our attention. You would just need to be looking for a bright flash at the right place and time in the night sky. Message details would follow in a suitable way via radio waves and can be processed by SETI professionals.
Culturally, Zavijava, or Al Zawiah, means angle or corner of the kennel of the barking dogs in Arabic. In its Greco-Roman mythological role of beta-Virginis, the star is positioned as the left shoulder of the maiden facing us.
Between Two Superstars
Of course, knowing where to look in the sky for Zavijava would be helpful, as it's not particularly bright (magnitude 3.61). Anyone in northern temperate latitudes who has spent time during the Spring or Summer looking southward in the night sky must be familiar with the brilliant blue star Spica (alpha-Virginis, magnitude 0.98 in the constellation Virgo). Moving westward, the next really bright star over is regal Regulus (alpha-Leonis, magnitude 1.36--in the adjacent constellation of Leo). Zavijava is the star of modest brightness most exactly midway between Spica and Regulus.
Sky Party
Being on the ecliptic makes Zavijava a sort of landmark for the planets as they go passing through. And it's also a golden opportunity to catch lightning in a bottle should Zavijavanetis be sending us a laser pulse just then. It would be quite a story if some amateur astronomers out photographing a nice conjunction look at the images they've taken and detect an anomalous brightness in one of the pictures--right where the star Zavijava should be barely visible.
The next big thing in this part of the sky, relevant to Zavijava, will probably be in October 2015. Venus Mars and Jupiter will form a tight 3-in-a-row (a la Orion's belt) points almost directly at Zavijava on October 22 and 28. The three also form a tight near-perfect isosceles triangle pointing directly at Zavijava along one of the long axes on Oct 15.
History Lessons
Zavijava already has been utilized by astronomers on at least one such occasion. In 1922, Arthur Eddington journeyed to Wallal, Australia and photographed Zavijava in conjunction with a total solar eclipse on September 21 in order to measure the angle of starlight deflection caused by the Sun's gravity. The results of this, and a few similar excursions, helped confirm Einstein's general theory of relativity--supplanting Newtonian mechanics. Some might wonder whether Eddington and his crew might have unwittingly received a message from Zavijavaland.
All nearby Sun-like stars, including Zavijava, have previously been surveyed for transmissions by SETI projects such as Phoenix, SERENDIP, Big Ear, META and BETA. However, there is no indication that timing was in any way a consideration. Project META recorded 37 anomalous transmissions that failed to recur upon follow-up--usually several days, weeks, or even months later. The randomness of such would have missed a transit-timing sender's likely repeat bursts over a one-to-two-day window or precisely a year later. Only BETA has had a mechanism for promptly double-checking promising signals. None have focused attention on the ecliptic belt or on longitudinal lines extended at transit/opposition time. For Zavijava, that time is right around March 21-22, annually.
Big Sister
Close examination of Zavijava reveals that, in comparison with the Sun, she is 25% more massive, 70% wider, 3.5x more luminous (with an absolute magnitude of 3.40), and 40% more metal-rich. You might say Zavijava is a bit more like the Sun's big sister than her twin or clone.
As a result of living large, Zavijava the star is not long for this world. Though stable for most of her life, Zavijava has already started to balloon up--the beginning of its dying throes. Any advanced planetary civilization there likely would have already done the equivalent of an Earth-to-Mars migration.
Naturally, they would also be looking for a longer term home--some place like Earth, perhaps. Having watched a few years' worth of our early TV programming, they may well figure that here is a nearby planet well-suited for life and presently being overrun by buffoons.
Some might misconstrue the absence of a signal from Zavijava as indicative of an impending sneak attack by them. With the little we know, cannot rule out the possibility of a huge flotilla of Zavijavanetis arriving anytime.
However, our Sun may have only 500 million to 1 billion years left before it starts acting up. So, we have reason to hope that outward-bound Zavijavanetis would take the high road and relocate to one or more of the many nearby red dwarf systems--terraforming planets there--instead of trying to take us over. Red dwarfs typically live 100 billion years.
So it's plausible that a Zavijavaneti society might not bother contacting us as their plate could be pretty full and there isn't much that we can do to help them out. On the other hand, they may have already moved elsewhere but left a monitoring/communications contingent there. It really wouldn't be much trouble, or take much equipment, to do stuff like signal us at least once every (Earth) year--say, at transit-time March 21-22. Hope does spring eternal.
TABLE
STAR LIST
Nearby single, Sun-like stars along the ecliptic (that might host habitable planets or moons of planets):
*Zavijava (aka beta-Virginis): RA 11.50.41.7, DEC +1.45.52.9 (ecliptic dec. is at approx. +2 at that RA), type F8 or F9, 35.6 LY away, magnitude 3.61, will be occulted by Venus in 2069, #12 TPF target.
*HD 172051 (aka HR 6998) (in Sagittarius): RA 18.38.53.49, DEC -21.03.06.7 (ecliptic dec. is at approx -23 at that RA), type G5, 42 LY away, magnitude 5.86, #98 TPF target.
*111 Tauri: RA 5.24, DEC +17.23, (ecliptic dec. is approx +20 at that RA), type F8, 48 LY away, magnitude 5.0, #40 TPF.
Nearby single, Sun-like stars fairly near ecliptic (that might host long-term habitable planets or moons of planets) :
*HD 192310 (aka HR 7722) (in Capricorn): RA 20.15, DEC -27.01 (ecliptic dec. is approx. -20 at that RA), type K0, 29 LY away, magnitude 5.73, #72 TPF.
*Iota Piscium: RA 23.39, DEC +5.37, (ecliptic dec. is approx. -2 at that RA), type F7, 45 LY away, magnitude 4.13, #23 TPF.
*Psi Capricornus: RA 20.46, DEC -25.16, (ecliptic dec. is appprox. -18 at that RA), type F5, 48 LY away, magnitude 4.13, #29 TPF.
*HR 7898 (in Capricorn): RA 20.40, DEC -23.46 (ecliptic dec. is approx.18 at that RA), type G8, 48 LY away, magnitude 6.36.
*Chi Cancri: RA 8.20, DEC +27.13, (ecliptic dec. is approx. +20 at that RA), type F6, 59 LY away, magnitude 5.13, #59 TPF.
Known nearby single stars along the ecliptic that are not like the Sun (but could conceivably host habitable planets or moons of planets--excludes flare stars)
*Teegarden's star: RA 2.53.00.85, DEC +16.52.53.3 (ecliptic dec. is approx. +16.3 at that RA), type M7 in Aries, 12 LY away, magnitude 15.
*Von Maanen's star (in Pisces): RA 00.49.09.8892, DEC +5.23.19.007 (ecliptic dec. is approx. +6 at that RA), warm white dwarf (6750 K), 14 LY away, magnitude 12.3.
Nearby single star fairly near the ecliptic and not like the Sun (but still considered possibly conducive to life):
*Gliese 876 (in Aquarius): RA 22.53, DEC -14.15, (ecliptic dec. is approx. -7 at that RA), type M4, 15 LY away, magnitude 10.17.
Within each group, stars are listed from near to far. Magnitudes are apparent. Variable stars are excluded.
Abbreviations: RA=right ascension; DEC=declination; approx.=approximately; TPF=Terrestrial Planet Finder mission.
ABBREVIATIONS
BETA=billion-channel extraterrestrial assay
DEC= declination
ETI=extraterrestrial intelligence
LY=light year
META=mega-channel extraterrestrial assay
NASA=national aeronautics and space administration
RA=right ascension
SETI=search for extraterrestrial intelligence
TPF=terrestrial planet finder
SOURCES
Corbet, Robin H.D., Synchronized SETI--The Case for "Opposition"; Astrobiology magazine, Mary Ann Liebert Inc., July 5, 2004.
Doyle, L.R., Deeg, H.J. and Jenkins, J.M., Discovering Worlds in Transit; Astronomy mag., 2001.
Kaler, Jim, Zavijava; on Stars website (accessed 2009).
Neave, Paul, planetarium website, 1999-2009.
Powell, Richard, Atlas of the Universe (website): Stars Within 50 Light Years, last updated July 30, 2006.
Red dwarf stars within 10 parsecs; Sol Company (website) 2005.
Scheffer, Lou, Aliens Can Watch 'I Love Lucy'; Contact in Context v2i1/lucy.pdf (website), accessed 2009.
Shostak, Seth, Cheap Communication Schemes for ETI; SETI Institute (online), April 1, 2004.
Shostak, Seth, Good Timing; SETI Insitute (seti.org), June 12, 2008.
Shostak, Seth, Making the Search Simple; SETI Institute (online), December 14, 2006.
Skindrud, Erik, The Big Question; Science News Online, September 7, 1996.
Sol Station.com, Zavijava (beta-Virginis) (website, accessed 2009).
Team Hopes to Use New Technology to Search for ET's (SETI Institute website), June 2, 2008.
Terrestrial Planet Finder article in State Master Encyclopedia (online),accessed 2009.
Wikipedia, List of Extrasolar Planets, (online encyclopedia) updated November 7, 2009.
Wikipedia, Occultation, accessed Nov. 2009.
Wikipedia, Zavijava, accessed October 2009.
Excerpt from Cosmic Web by Steve Kearney.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Resolving the NCAA Football Playoff Controversy
BCS Options: Two New Ideas
Here are a couple of novel solutions to the college football championship controversy about possibly adding a playoff. I call them my Fun Option and my Best Option.
Most people want a college football playoff. But there are several serious problems with that. It would detract from the regular season, detract from the bowl games, and cause scheduling difficulties for the student-athletes who are the players.
THE FUN OPTION
The BCS people have almost got it right. The championship game comes about a week after the last major bowl game. Keep it that way, only let the BCS panel vote immediately after the last major bowl game. Their choice of the #1 team goes to the championship game. Their opponent would be selected promptly by the FANS! Hey, we're good enough for American Idol and Dancing with the Stars!
In all likelihood we'll wind up with winners of two of the major bowl games facing off. This would keep the bowl folk happy.
This idea may have started out in jest, but when you look at all the "cons" (vs "pros") of the playoff proposals out there, you get to thinking that less is more.
PLAYOFF PROBLEMS
Here are some detailed problems with extended playoff proposals:
*Even if you just take 8 teams, most proposals include the 6 major conference winners in that group. But a conference winner could have accumulated 3,4 even 5 losses in a competitive conference and with some non-conference-game losses. For example, Virginia Tech had 4 loses in 2008 when they got invited to the Orange Bowl as ACC conference champs--and they won the game, too. So if that were the first round off an 8-team tournament, then they'd have been in the final 4! It wouldn't matter that they'd lost to lowly East Carolina University.
So you can be sure that sooner or later a team with 4 or more losses will win the championship in an 8-team tournament format. This would run contrary to 140 years of division-1 college football tradition. Only once has a team with more than 2 losses been awarded any kind of championship: Nebraska in 1981 was named champion by one organization, The National Championship Foundation, despite only going 9-3. And even they only had 2 losses at the time of the vote, which was taken pre-bowls.
* Extended playoff systems inevitably come into conflict with final exams or Christmas or the NFL playoffs or the start of Spring semester. We shouldn't forget that these players are students-athletes, not professionals. And the bowl sponsors want to keep the big bowls after Christmas and around New Year's. They've got their festivals and parades that bring out a lot of people.
But if you make big bowls into your first and second rounds of an 8-team playoff (the best extended playoff option), you have to move them up to Christmas or earlier in order to avoid colliding with the NFL playoffs in January, which feature two games on both Saturday and Sunday for their first and second round. It also violates an unwritten rule not to play/televise college and pro games on the same day(s).
* A bowl playoff system would lead to overexposure of some teams and underexposure for others. In an 8-team bowl playoff system, two teams would play in 3 bowl games each, and another two teams would play in two bowl games apiece. Four teams that would otherwise be in a major bowl game would be replaced by the multiple-gaming of the playoff round winners. The effect would trickle down to the minor bowls with the net effect that 4 teams would be shut-out from the bowls altogether. Of course, they could add a couple of bowl games to
compensate.
BEST PLAYOFF OPTION
One playoff option that seems to have been overlooked is a 4-team playoff, integrated with the bowl system. The pre-bowl, top-4-ranked teams would be seeded (#1 vs #4, #2 vs #3) in two of the major bowl games. The winners would clash in the Championship game the following week.
Major bowls (probably the current BCS "gang of 4"--Rose, Orange, Sugar and Fiesta) would rotate participatory roles in the playoffs. This would include the hosting of the Championship game, which could either be the bowl game associated with the given venue (as the BCS championship was from 1998/99--2005/6) or follow that bowl game by about a week (as the BCS championship has been doing since 2007/8).
If the older method is applied, each of the four bowl sites would rotate through the following four roles, in whatever order is chosen: 1) host of #1 vs #4 seed; 2) host of #2 vs #3 seed; 3) host of the championship game; 4) out of the playoff loop--host to two other top-ten teams.
If instead they opt for the newer method, each of these 4 bowl sites would segue through a slightly different set of roles: host of #1 vs #4 seed; 2) host of #2 vs #3 seed; 3) host to a non-playoff bowl game and then host to the championship game; 4) out of the playoff loop--host to two other top-ten teams.
An advantage of the latter option is that the bowl festivals could go on as regularly scheduled every year around New Year's day/weekend, and the tradition of their games being played on or very close to New Year's day would be maintained. In other words, you wouldn't need to separate, say, Rose Bowl game from the Rose Bowl parade by about a week every 4th year. While that's not a big deal for die-hard football enthusiasts, it matters to the areas' chambers of commerce/tourism-related businesses.
Either way, there's one improvement that could be made in choosing the four playoff contenders. Call it the Boise State (or Utah) clause. Any unbeaten team ranked #5 through #10 gets an opportunity to play-in to the championship tournament. If there is one such team, they would play vs #4 seed a week before the scheduled bowl game. If there are two such teams, match the better-ranked one against #4, seed and match the lesser-ranked one against #3 seed. In the highly unlikely event there are three unbeaten teams ranked from 5th to 10th, simply include #2 seed in the pre-bowl fray. Ditto as regards # 1 seed team in the extremely unlikely event of four unbeaten teams in the bottom half of the top-10.
Play-in games would not be considered bowl games in of themselves, but rather prequels to the big bowls They would be played at or near the home of the higher-ranked team. Those in cold-weather climates could have a backup domed-site option. For instance, Big-Tenners might have an arrangement with the Metrodome in Minneapolis and/or Ford's Field in Detroit in case of a blizzardy-white Christmas. The only team(s) far from home on Christmas would be the Cinderellas who would be so excited to have a chance that they wouldn't mind the inconvenience. The loser(s) of the play-in would still receive top-ten treatment: this includes an invitation to one of the three non-playoff BCS bowl games.
We could still call it the BCS, but now it really would be a "bowl championship series."
TASKS OF A PLAYOFF SYSTEM
It shouldn't be absolutely necessary to be undefeated in order to win the championship. But it should not be possible for a one-loss team to win the championship as long as there are any unbeaten teams left.
It should be possible for a top-notch team to win championship with one loss, provided there are no unbeaten teams left at the end.
Any team that is unbeaten should be ranked in the pre-bowl top-10.
In the end, here should be no unbeaten team that is not #1.
In the end, there should be not more than one team that is unbeaten.
It should be highly unlikely for a team with two losses to win championship and virtually impossible for a team with more than two losses.
A system where it is possible for a team to lose one game and still have a chance at the championship, yet not a certain chance, suitably values the regular season.
A system that guarantees that the champion will be a winner of a major bowl game suitably values the bowl system.
A system that features a national championship game which is the final event of a tournament that has included the #1, #2, #3, #4 teams, plus any other team that is unbeaten, suitably fulfils the national desire for a consensus national champion.
Here are a couple of novel solutions to the college football championship controversy about possibly adding a playoff. I call them my Fun Option and my Best Option.
Most people want a college football playoff. But there are several serious problems with that. It would detract from the regular season, detract from the bowl games, and cause scheduling difficulties for the student-athletes who are the players.
THE FUN OPTION
The BCS people have almost got it right. The championship game comes about a week after the last major bowl game. Keep it that way, only let the BCS panel vote immediately after the last major bowl game. Their choice of the #1 team goes to the championship game. Their opponent would be selected promptly by the FANS! Hey, we're good enough for American Idol and Dancing with the Stars!
In all likelihood we'll wind up with winners of two of the major bowl games facing off. This would keep the bowl folk happy.
This idea may have started out in jest, but when you look at all the "cons" (vs "pros") of the playoff proposals out there, you get to thinking that less is more.
PLAYOFF PROBLEMS
Here are some detailed problems with extended playoff proposals:
*Even if you just take 8 teams, most proposals include the 6 major conference winners in that group. But a conference winner could have accumulated 3,4 even 5 losses in a competitive conference and with some non-conference-game losses. For example, Virginia Tech had 4 loses in 2008 when they got invited to the Orange Bowl as ACC conference champs--and they won the game, too. So if that were the first round off an 8-team tournament, then they'd have been in the final 4! It wouldn't matter that they'd lost to lowly East Carolina University.
So you can be sure that sooner or later a team with 4 or more losses will win the championship in an 8-team tournament format. This would run contrary to 140 years of division-1 college football tradition. Only once has a team with more than 2 losses been awarded any kind of championship: Nebraska in 1981 was named champion by one organization, The National Championship Foundation, despite only going 9-3. And even they only had 2 losses at the time of the vote, which was taken pre-bowls.
* Extended playoff systems inevitably come into conflict with final exams or Christmas or the NFL playoffs or the start of Spring semester. We shouldn't forget that these players are students-athletes, not professionals. And the bowl sponsors want to keep the big bowls after Christmas and around New Year's. They've got their festivals and parades that bring out a lot of people.
But if you make big bowls into your first and second rounds of an 8-team playoff (the best extended playoff option), you have to move them up to Christmas or earlier in order to avoid colliding with the NFL playoffs in January, which feature two games on both Saturday and Sunday for their first and second round. It also violates an unwritten rule not to play/televise college and pro games on the same day(s).
* A bowl playoff system would lead to overexposure of some teams and underexposure for others. In an 8-team bowl playoff system, two teams would play in 3 bowl games each, and another two teams would play in two bowl games apiece. Four teams that would otherwise be in a major bowl game would be replaced by the multiple-gaming of the playoff round winners. The effect would trickle down to the minor bowls with the net effect that 4 teams would be shut-out from the bowls altogether. Of course, they could add a couple of bowl games to
compensate.
BEST PLAYOFF OPTION
One playoff option that seems to have been overlooked is a 4-team playoff, integrated with the bowl system. The pre-bowl, top-4-ranked teams would be seeded (#1 vs #4, #2 vs #3) in two of the major bowl games. The winners would clash in the Championship game the following week.
Major bowls (probably the current BCS "gang of 4"--Rose, Orange, Sugar and Fiesta) would rotate participatory roles in the playoffs. This would include the hosting of the Championship game, which could either be the bowl game associated with the given venue (as the BCS championship was from 1998/99--2005/6) or follow that bowl game by about a week (as the BCS championship has been doing since 2007/8).
If the older method is applied, each of the four bowl sites would rotate through the following four roles, in whatever order is chosen: 1) host of #1 vs #4 seed; 2) host of #2 vs #3 seed; 3) host of the championship game; 4) out of the playoff loop--host to two other top-ten teams.
If instead they opt for the newer method, each of these 4 bowl sites would segue through a slightly different set of roles: host of #1 vs #4 seed; 2) host of #2 vs #3 seed; 3) host to a non-playoff bowl game and then host to the championship game; 4) out of the playoff loop--host to two other top-ten teams.
An advantage of the latter option is that the bowl festivals could go on as regularly scheduled every year around New Year's day/weekend, and the tradition of their games being played on or very close to New Year's day would be maintained. In other words, you wouldn't need to separate, say, Rose Bowl game from the Rose Bowl parade by about a week every 4th year. While that's not a big deal for die-hard football enthusiasts, it matters to the areas' chambers of commerce/tourism-related businesses.
Either way, there's one improvement that could be made in choosing the four playoff contenders. Call it the Boise State (or Utah) clause. Any unbeaten team ranked #5 through #10 gets an opportunity to play-in to the championship tournament. If there is one such team, they would play vs #4 seed a week before the scheduled bowl game. If there are two such teams, match the better-ranked one against #4, seed and match the lesser-ranked one against #3 seed. In the highly unlikely event there are three unbeaten teams ranked from 5th to 10th, simply include #2 seed in the pre-bowl fray. Ditto as regards # 1 seed team in the extremely unlikely event of four unbeaten teams in the bottom half of the top-10.
Play-in games would not be considered bowl games in of themselves, but rather prequels to the big bowls They would be played at or near the home of the higher-ranked team. Those in cold-weather climates could have a backup domed-site option. For instance, Big-Tenners might have an arrangement with the Metrodome in Minneapolis and/or Ford's Field in Detroit in case of a blizzardy-white Christmas. The only team(s) far from home on Christmas would be the Cinderellas who would be so excited to have a chance that they wouldn't mind the inconvenience. The loser(s) of the play-in would still receive top-ten treatment: this includes an invitation to one of the three non-playoff BCS bowl games.
We could still call it the BCS, but now it really would be a "bowl championship series."
TASKS OF A PLAYOFF SYSTEM
It shouldn't be absolutely necessary to be undefeated in order to win the championship. But it should not be possible for a one-loss team to win the championship as long as there are any unbeaten teams left.
It should be possible for a top-notch team to win championship with one loss, provided there are no unbeaten teams left at the end.
Any team that is unbeaten should be ranked in the pre-bowl top-10.
In the end, here should be no unbeaten team that is not #1.
In the end, there should be not more than one team that is unbeaten.
It should be highly unlikely for a team with two losses to win championship and virtually impossible for a team with more than two losses.
A system where it is possible for a team to lose one game and still have a chance at the championship, yet not a certain chance, suitably values the regular season.
A system that guarantees that the champion will be a winner of a major bowl game suitably values the bowl system.
A system that features a national championship game which is the final event of a tournament that has included the #1, #2, #3, #4 teams, plus any other team that is unbeaten, suitably fulfils the national desire for a consensus national champion.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Celebrity Trainwreck Names
CELEBRITY TRAINWRECK NAMES (good ideas for Halloween costumes)
(in alphabetical order: by category*, and within each by first name)
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Eva LOgarithim (her Gabby is kinda complicated, or calculating)
Felicity Wolfman (her Lynette has an inner dark side that she just barely keeps repressed)
Macia Crossing Guard (her Bree wears orange while bossing everyone--especially her kids--around)
NicoLet's Share a Den (her Edie had a knack for unconventional living arrangements)
Teri Hatchet (she'd be a great heroine in a campy horror movie)
MOVIE STARS
Adam SandBar (he often seems drunk, or acting that way) or SandLot
Antonio BondAirbus (a role he's well-suited for--it'd fly!)
Ashley TentSale (compared with Van Hugs, she's probably a bargain now)
Camera On De Ass (you could make a movie of just that and guys would watch it)
Demi Monde (if the world were split in half would you be on her side? It's post-apocalyptic)
Drew Barleycorn (back-to-nature, crop cycle theme, also the Grim Reaper)
Dustin Hofstra (once a Graduate, always a Graduate--if you age well, or take Viagra)
Glenn Close Call (what she was in Fatal Attraction--a near miss)
Hillary Swank (I know it's her real name, but she'd probably look good in it)
Jack BlackOut (he's big enough to block out the Sun). or Blackhead (terrifying to teenagers)
Jamie Lee Kurdistan (sounds like a good name for her own yogurt brand--in the works)
Jessica Altar (where any single guy would be happy to take her)
Jon LoveIts Or LeaveIts (or leave it alone)
Kate Beck and Call (likes to play demanding roles) or Glockenspiel (has an appealing sound)
Kevin Bake-Off (he's down-home, yet competitive)
Lindsay Locust (she still acts like a 17-year-old--buzzing around), or LowRent (her movies never make any $)
Marilyn Moonroe (she was quite bewitching--like the pretty ones in Wiz of Oz)
Mel GibbStoned (what he was that wild night and what the media did to him afterwards)
Penultimate Cruise (she was the next-to-last woman Tom dated); or Penelope Cruz Control (wouldn't you like to take her for a ride?)
Pierce BroadBand (James Bond meets the Go Go Girls)
Salma Hijack (a female hijacker) or Lo-Jack (so no one can steal her away)
Seth Rogaine (he could use some)
Susan Saran Wrap (put on some red hair, dark glasses and wear something highly metallic)
Tom Cruiserweight (if he ever played a boxer, it couldn't be as a heavyweight)
Tom Handkerchiefs (his films tend to be sentimental)
Vanessa Huggies (a real babe/such a cute babyface!)
Will Feral (he's a wild & crazy guy)
Alec's Bald Twins (yeah, those two)
Zach F-stop (he's so photogenic)
POLITICS (Politicians and Political Journalists)
Al Goretex (a good fabric for changing climatic conditions)
Alan Green Hands (from counting all that money)
Albatross Gum Salad (the attorney general who wouldn't go away)
Almond In a Jam (more nuts than a fruitcake)
Ann Cold Cuts (sliced super thin) or Cold Turkey (an encounter with her is sobering)
Barack Odometer (so that his wife can keep tabs on him)
Carl Rogue (the master spinner has been known to "vogue")
Caspar Wine Cellar (the friendly ghost Wants You for a tour of his estate--bring a jacket)
CondoLizard RicePudding (she's all over the map--or is she?)
Dennis Has Dirt (he was, or should've been, kept informed of stuff)
Dennis Cooked Spinach (nobody's first choice...OK, maybe 1%)
Dick Ricochet-ney (he can't shoot straight, and isn't especially worried about it)
Donald Rumpelstiltskin (not your basic fairy tale ending)
Eleanor Clifthanger ("the suspense is killing me!"/murder she wrote)
Eliot Spritzer (looks for chicks in hotel lobby bar)
HairyYet Mired (wanabee judge bogged down in own goth-thick eyelashes 'n' gobs o' mascara)
Hilarious ClinTuff (two personality aspects she's trying to showcase)
JennaRation Books (a long war, and a short read)
John McLaugh-In (his show, at times, is slapstick comedy)
Larry Craig's List (where he could take out an ad telling everybody "I'm not gay!")
Mike HuckleBe (Huck Finn's populism) or HugaBee (ouch!)
Nancy Pirogi or Pilati (she's bi-coastal, if not bipartisan)
Ralph Nadir (at voting-time a regular bottom-feeder)
Raw Sparrow (his beak-like nose, and lack of city-slicker polish)
Rudy Vigilante (his prosecutorial experience) or Rudy Can't Fail (a song by the Clash)
Rush Lip Bra (he could use a little factual support--say a D-cup) or Limbo (trying to do it)
Sarah Palindrome/Pale and Droned/Pallid Drone (in a manner of speaking); or Sarah Impalin'/Impale 'em (she's a hunter not a gatherer, with her crossbow)
Tim Russet (his round, reddish-orange face--like a pumpkin-head, or a big apple)
Tom Rain Delay (the equivalent of a filibuster)
Tony SnowJob ("hey, y'all, I'm just doing my job up here...")
Valerie Flame (she could've gotten fired when her cover got blown)
SINGERS
Amy Henhouse (a real hot mess)
Atlantis Morrisette (she usually sounds depressed, forlorn, abandoned like the lost continent)
Barry Man-at-Large (cops have CD evidence of him murdering pop music hits by the decade)
Bed Bath & Beyonce (she's got it all)
Britney Smears (she treats the pap-arazzi like they're gynecologists)
Hillary MacDuff (there must be something Shakesperean about her)
Huey Newton and the Loos or Huey Knew Us in the Loo (a little invasive British humor)
Jessica Dim Sum (let's see if she can figure it out)
Jonah's Brothers (Bible thumpers swallow their pride)
Just in Time for Dinner (he's on the go) or Tamberlaine (if you want to dress like an emperor)
Kevin Fed a Line (he can't memorize 'em) or Snort a Line (he's always just about to blow up)
Lance C. Bass Guitar (has fish-eyes); or Lance Bass Guitar (wishes he played an instrument)
Mariah's Scary (if she went Gothic, complete with fangs, it'd be a great departure)
Mel B.-List (dancing with the "stars")
Mick Jaguar (one fierce cat)
Miley Cyprus (why just be a state when you can be an entire country); or Mile 'o' Mint Cyrus (she's a goldmine); or Miley Sea Wolf (something wet & wild about her); or Miley Virus (popping up all over like a pandemic outbreak)
Natasha PettingZoo (G-rated, or R between-lines)
Nick Latchkey (you kind of want to feel sorry for the kid)
Victoria Bedlam(b) (like the month of March--in/out)
Whitney, Who's Stoned? (a rhetorical question)
"SINGING" "TALENT" SHOW AMERICAN I DULL
Antonella BaR bra (R-rated material getting turned into PG)
Bo Bison (a heavy metal band goes off-road out on the prairie, finds they're running with 'em)
Fantasia Burrito (a great name for a Mexican restaurant--if you can read it)
Jazz Mum Triage (a softly singing ER nurse a la "killing me softly with...song")
Kerry Underworld (she's a bit of a torch singer so could be the devil's better half in a duet/if she made a pact/she's so hot)
Ryan SheQuest (not that he wants one but rather he wants to be one)
Simon Scowl (it's more natural, less forced than his smile) or Cowrie (stuck in his shell)
Taylor Higgs Boson (he bounces around like something shot out of a particle accelerator)
SIT-COM STARS, COMEDIANS
Carol Burn At the Stake (that flaming red hair!)
Drew Caries ("what percentage of Americans know that caries is a dental term for cavities?")
Gary ColeSlaw (always comes in those itty bitty portions)
Herman Muenster (cheesey guy, with a wedge-shaped head a la Green Bay football fans)
Jerry's Stein's Filled (he's had it up to here/when you're drunk, anything can seem funny)
James Vader (the killer attorney with ice in his veins and a definite dark side)
Jane KrackHouseKey--(she looks high all the time)
Jerry's Stein's Filled (he's had it up to here/hey, when you're drunk, anything can seem funny) or Kelsey Grammar School/Kelsey GramHair (his characters tend to act like big babies--and have as much hair)
Martin Short Pants (lovable loser, like the Trinidadian calypso singer)
Roseanne Barf (as crude as she can be)
Sarah Silverdome (it doesn't make any sense--like her, or not)
Tina Fey (if she suddenly started babbling, or, isn't that kind of, like, how she talks all the time)
Whoopey GoldBerg (think Titanic filmed as a dark comedy)
SPORTS (Players & Broadcasters)
Albert Pool Halls (he hustles on every play)
Barry US Bonds (popular out on the road singing--"Rte.66"--but only at home when swinging)
Cal RIP Tide (still waters run deep)
Charles Bar-Kays (he'd make a good front man for the vintage funk band); or Charles BarCode--he's a big spender.
John Mammoth (he's about as big as one, and you won't find either on an airplane)
Mark Phillip Sousa (the Australian tennis star in search of an American girlfriend)
Michelle Wee (she's like Alice in Wonderland out there on the golf course lately)
Marco/Morocco Meteorite--shooting star.
O Scare de Latoya (the prizefighter going on a gender-bender: real or photo-shopped?)
PayTon's Mannequins (he's got so many commercial deals he can't do them all himself)
The Stupor Bowl (you've got to be drunk to watch it all 'cus it's usually over at halftime)
Tiger Would (and plenty of you would have, too, if you were in his shoes)
Venus Wilhelmina (she's so into fashion)
"SPORTS"--POKER PLAYERS
All-in CunningHaM or All In Mia Ham
Dale Bunson Burner (precision alchemy)
Howard Letter Opener or Howard--Let Her Open It (he'd stab you in the back)
Jennifer Harmonics(as in the New Age "harmonic convergence", with musical over/undertones)
Mike Mad As Hell (and he's not taking it anymore)
Patrick Polonius--ShakesPearean
Phil Heimlich Maneuver (somebody at the table is choking)
Phil I.V. (a hospital vampire, or the king of France from1285 to 1314 A.D.)
TV DRAMA/REALITY
Carmen Electrode (shock treatment from a beautiful lifeguard)
Carrie Ann Pearl Harbor--tango alpha bravo charlie
Fear Factory (the show's fascination w/remote industrial sites--look out!)
Gordon Ramses (testosterone branding kitchen king)
Gray's Anemone (a lot of tentacles reaching out)
Hayden Planetarium (she's pretty well-rounded)
Heather Millstone (what she was--around Paul's wallet, anyway)
Heidi Plume (wispy)
Kelly Monocle (soaps could use a super-sleuth to tie up some of those persistent loose ends)
Kim CardAssian (a Trekkie with a big following behind her)
Kirstie Dark Alley (you'd hate to run into her there)
Moon BloodGood (the actual name of the time traveler--a vampyress crossed with a she-wolf)
Nickelodeon Sushi (she's like a kid in an upscale candy store)
Pamela Neanderson (the guys she marries tend to be a bit cave-mannish)
Paris Hilltop (guys like to park there with her)
Rich Or Rancid (for the entrepreneurial, money changes everything)
Sarah Jessica Barker (Bow Wow!!)
TV TALK PERSONALITIES:
Al Roquefort (in good taste, and a bit cheesey)
Arsenio Hall Monitor (a scary sight for mischievous kids)
Barbara Walrus (there's something majestic about the way she tilts her head...)
Bryant Gumblow (just perm your hair, don a suit coat & tie, get a big wad of gum and act silly)
Carson Monthly (that's about how often most people watch his show)
Conehead O'Brine Shrimp (their tails mimic his wavy orange hair)
Craig Fergusonofabitch (what Prince Charles calls him)
Craig Stillborn (his show was DOA)
Dan Druthers (if he' had his druthers, we'd be in a rather different place)
David Lettucehead (a scarecrow with a head of lettuce--dude, what were you thinking?)
Diane/Leslie Saw Ya (a la Texas Chainsaw--don't mess with Texas)
Elizabeth Has To Bitch (she just has to--she doesn't know any other way)
Ellen Degenerates (she dances like an ape)
Katie Curate (she's so wholesome) or Curad (bandaged head to foot--reading the news)
Kelly RIP C(h)ord (feels vertigo, thinks "rip cord", reaches over 'n' slashes at Regis' throat)
Martha's Steward(1st her jailkeeper, then parole officer so she can go places like her Vineyard)
Mad Plower (where the heck is he? Oh no, he's coming right at us with a snow plow!)
Oprah Wince Streak (audience reaction if she took her clothes off and ran around the stage)
Rachael Wraith (ghost of meals past--an upset stomach; or the man-eaters of TV Stargate series)
Rosie O'Grady (she belongs in a rowdy Irish pub)
Tiara Banks (she's so exotic) or Tyrannosaurus Banks (fiercely flashing teeth, & all legs)
Walter Conn Smyth (award-winning journalist for giving us the cold, hard facts)
TALK RADIO (NOT POLITICAL)/VARIETY
Garrison Keel Over (sounds like he's been drinking)
George Norway/Noriega ( if the Coast-to-Coast host's voiced stretched North-to-South)
Howard Sternum (where you'd like to punch him)
Ian Pundit (he is what he is)
Linda Molting Owl (intrepid researcher into the moonlit world of the paranormal)
YESTERDAY'S NEWS, BUT COULD RESURFACE
Alien Gonzalez (the child refugee who got sent back--to outer space)
John Marked Card (he deceived everybody about role in JonBenet case)
Natalie Hauled Away (what may have happened to her in Aruba)
*Some celebrities have been active in multiple fields. They are generally listed in the field they've been most prominent in.
Steven (Starjet) Kearney
(in alphabetical order: by category*, and within each by first name)
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Eva LOgarithim (her Gabby is kinda complicated, or calculating)
Felicity Wolfman (her Lynette has an inner dark side that she just barely keeps repressed)
Macia Crossing Guard (her Bree wears orange while bossing everyone--especially her kids--around)
NicoLet's Share a Den (her Edie had a knack for unconventional living arrangements)
Teri Hatchet (she'd be a great heroine in a campy horror movie)
MOVIE STARS
Adam SandBar (he often seems drunk, or acting that way) or SandLot
Antonio BondAirbus (a role he's well-suited for--it'd fly!)
Ashley TentSale (compared with Van Hugs, she's probably a bargain now)
Camera On De Ass (you could make a movie of just that and guys would watch it)
Demi Monde (if the world were split in half would you be on her side? It's post-apocalyptic)
Drew Barleycorn (back-to-nature, crop cycle theme, also the Grim Reaper)
Dustin Hofstra (once a Graduate, always a Graduate--if you age well, or take Viagra)
Glenn Close Call (what she was in Fatal Attraction--a near miss)
Hillary Swank (I know it's her real name, but she'd probably look good in it)
Jack BlackOut (he's big enough to block out the Sun). or Blackhead (terrifying to teenagers)
Jamie Lee Kurdistan (sounds like a good name for her own yogurt brand--in the works)
Jessica Altar (where any single guy would be happy to take her)
Jon LoveIts Or LeaveIts (or leave it alone)
Kate Beck and Call (likes to play demanding roles) or Glockenspiel (has an appealing sound)
Kevin Bake-Off (he's down-home, yet competitive)
Lindsay Locust (she still acts like a 17-year-old--buzzing around), or LowRent (her movies never make any $)
Marilyn Moonroe (she was quite bewitching--like the pretty ones in Wiz of Oz)
Mel GibbStoned (what he was that wild night and what the media did to him afterwards)
Penultimate Cruise (she was the next-to-last woman Tom dated); or Penelope Cruz Control (wouldn't you like to take her for a ride?)
Pierce BroadBand (James Bond meets the Go Go Girls)
Salma Hijack (a female hijacker) or Lo-Jack (so no one can steal her away)
Seth Rogaine (he could use some)
Susan Saran Wrap (put on some red hair, dark glasses and wear something highly metallic)
Tom Cruiserweight (if he ever played a boxer, it couldn't be as a heavyweight)
Tom Handkerchiefs (his films tend to be sentimental)
Vanessa Huggies (a real babe/such a cute babyface!)
Will Feral (he's a wild & crazy guy)
Alec's Bald Twins (yeah, those two)
Zach F-stop (he's so photogenic)
POLITICS (Politicians and Political Journalists)
Al Goretex (a good fabric for changing climatic conditions)
Alan Green Hands (from counting all that money)
Albatross Gum Salad (the attorney general who wouldn't go away)
Almond In a Jam (more nuts than a fruitcake)
Ann Cold Cuts (sliced super thin) or Cold Turkey (an encounter with her is sobering)
Barack Odometer (so that his wife can keep tabs on him)
Carl Rogue (the master spinner has been known to "vogue")
Caspar Wine Cellar (the friendly ghost Wants You for a tour of his estate--bring a jacket)
CondoLizard RicePudding (she's all over the map--or is she?)
Dennis Has Dirt (he was, or should've been, kept informed of stuff)
Dennis Cooked Spinach (nobody's first choice...OK, maybe 1%)
Dick Ricochet-ney (he can't shoot straight, and isn't especially worried about it)
Donald Rumpelstiltskin (not your basic fairy tale ending)
Eleanor Clifthanger ("the suspense is killing me!"/murder she wrote)
Eliot Spritzer (looks for chicks in hotel lobby bar)
HairyYet Mired (wanabee judge bogged down in own goth-thick eyelashes 'n' gobs o' mascara)
Hilarious ClinTuff (two personality aspects she's trying to showcase)
JennaRation Books (a long war, and a short read)
John McLaugh-In (his show, at times, is slapstick comedy)
Larry Craig's List (where he could take out an ad telling everybody "I'm not gay!")
Mike HuckleBe (Huck Finn's populism) or HugaBee (ouch!)
Nancy Pirogi or Pilati (she's bi-coastal, if not bipartisan)
Ralph Nadir (at voting-time a regular bottom-feeder)
Raw Sparrow (his beak-like nose, and lack of city-slicker polish)
Rudy Vigilante (his prosecutorial experience) or Rudy Can't Fail (a song by the Clash)
Rush Lip Bra (he could use a little factual support--say a D-cup) or Limbo (trying to do it)
Sarah Palindrome/Pale and Droned/Pallid Drone (in a manner of speaking); or Sarah Impalin'/Impale 'em (she's a hunter not a gatherer, with her crossbow)
Tim Russet (his round, reddish-orange face--like a pumpkin-head, or a big apple)
Tom Rain Delay (the equivalent of a filibuster)
Tony SnowJob ("hey, y'all, I'm just doing my job up here...")
Valerie Flame (she could've gotten fired when her cover got blown)
SINGERS
Amy Henhouse (a real hot mess)
Atlantis Morrisette (she usually sounds depressed, forlorn, abandoned like the lost continent)
Barry Man-at-Large (cops have CD evidence of him murdering pop music hits by the decade)
Bed Bath & Beyonce (she's got it all)
Britney Smears (she treats the pap-arazzi like they're gynecologists)
Hillary MacDuff (there must be something Shakesperean about her)
Huey Newton and the Loos or Huey Knew Us in the Loo (a little invasive British humor)
Jessica Dim Sum (let's see if she can figure it out)
Jonah's Brothers (Bible thumpers swallow their pride)
Just in Time for Dinner (he's on the go) or Tamberlaine (if you want to dress like an emperor)
Kevin Fed a Line (he can't memorize 'em) or Snort a Line (he's always just about to blow up)
Lance C. Bass Guitar (has fish-eyes); or Lance Bass Guitar (wishes he played an instrument)
Mariah's Scary (if she went Gothic, complete with fangs, it'd be a great departure)
Mel B.-List (dancing with the "stars")
Mick Jaguar (one fierce cat)
Miley Cyprus (why just be a state when you can be an entire country); or Mile 'o' Mint Cyrus (she's a goldmine); or Miley Sea Wolf (something wet & wild about her); or Miley Virus (popping up all over like a pandemic outbreak)
Natasha PettingZoo (G-rated, or R between-lines)
Nick Latchkey (you kind of want to feel sorry for the kid)
Victoria Bedlam(b) (like the month of March--in/out)
Whitney, Who's Stoned? (a rhetorical question)
"SINGING" "TALENT" SHOW AMERICAN I DULL
Antonella BaR bra (R-rated material getting turned into PG)
Bo Bison (a heavy metal band goes off-road out on the prairie, finds they're running with 'em)
Fantasia Burrito (a great name for a Mexican restaurant--if you can read it)
Jazz Mum Triage (a softly singing ER nurse a la "killing me softly with...song")
Kerry Underworld (she's a bit of a torch singer so could be the devil's better half in a duet/if she made a pact/she's so hot)
Ryan SheQuest (not that he wants one but rather he wants to be one)
Simon Scowl (it's more natural, less forced than his smile) or Cowrie (stuck in his shell)
Taylor Higgs Boson (he bounces around like something shot out of a particle accelerator)
SIT-COM STARS, COMEDIANS
Carol Burn At the Stake (that flaming red hair!)
Drew Caries ("what percentage of Americans know that caries is a dental term for cavities?")
Gary ColeSlaw (always comes in those itty bitty portions)
Herman Muenster (cheesey guy, with a wedge-shaped head a la Green Bay football fans)
Jerry's Stein's Filled (he's had it up to here/when you're drunk, anything can seem funny)
James Vader (the killer attorney with ice in his veins and a definite dark side)
Jane KrackHouseKey--(she looks high all the time)
Jerry's Stein's Filled (he's had it up to here/hey, when you're drunk, anything can seem funny) or Kelsey Grammar School/Kelsey GramHair (his characters tend to act like big babies--and have as much hair)
Martin Short Pants (lovable loser, like the Trinidadian calypso singer)
Roseanne Barf (as crude as she can be)
Sarah Silverdome (it doesn't make any sense--like her, or not)
Tina Fey (if she suddenly started babbling, or, isn't that kind of, like, how she talks all the time)
Whoopey GoldBerg (think Titanic filmed as a dark comedy)
SPORTS (Players & Broadcasters)
Albert Pool Halls (he hustles on every play)
Barry US Bonds (popular out on the road singing--"Rte.66"--but only at home when swinging)
Cal RIP Tide (still waters run deep)
Charles Bar-Kays (he'd make a good front man for the vintage funk band); or Charles BarCode--he's a big spender.
John Mammoth (he's about as big as one, and you won't find either on an airplane)
Mark Phillip Sousa (the Australian tennis star in search of an American girlfriend)
Michelle Wee (she's like Alice in Wonderland out there on the golf course lately)
Marco/Morocco Meteorite--shooting star.
O Scare de Latoya (the prizefighter going on a gender-bender: real or photo-shopped?)
PayTon's Mannequins (he's got so many commercial deals he can't do them all himself)
The Stupor Bowl (you've got to be drunk to watch it all 'cus it's usually over at halftime)
Tiger Would (and plenty of you would have, too, if you were in his shoes)
Venus Wilhelmina (she's so into fashion)
"SPORTS"--POKER PLAYERS
All-in CunningHaM or All In Mia Ham
Dale Bunson Burner (precision alchemy)
Howard Letter Opener or Howard--Let Her Open It (he'd stab you in the back)
Jennifer Harmonics(as in the New Age "harmonic convergence", with musical over/undertones)
Mike Mad As Hell (and he's not taking it anymore)
Patrick Polonius--ShakesPearean
Phil Heimlich Maneuver (somebody at the table is choking)
Phil I.V. (a hospital vampire, or the king of France from1285 to 1314 A.D.)
TV DRAMA/REALITY
Carmen Electrode (shock treatment from a beautiful lifeguard)
Carrie Ann Pearl Harbor--tango alpha bravo charlie
Fear Factory (the show's fascination w/remote industrial sites--look out!)
Gordon Ramses (testosterone branding kitchen king)
Gray's Anemone (a lot of tentacles reaching out)
Hayden Planetarium (she's pretty well-rounded)
Heather Millstone (what she was--around Paul's wallet, anyway)
Heidi Plume (wispy)
Kelly Monocle (soaps could use a super-sleuth to tie up some of those persistent loose ends)
Kim CardAssian (a Trekkie with a big following behind her)
Kirstie Dark Alley (you'd hate to run into her there)
Moon BloodGood (the actual name of the time traveler--a vampyress crossed with a she-wolf)
Nickelodeon Sushi (she's like a kid in an upscale candy store)
Pamela Neanderson (the guys she marries tend to be a bit cave-mannish)
Paris Hilltop (guys like to park there with her)
Rich Or Rancid (for the entrepreneurial, money changes everything)
Sarah Jessica Barker (Bow Wow!!)
TV TALK PERSONALITIES:
Al Roquefort (in good taste, and a bit cheesey)
Arsenio Hall Monitor (a scary sight for mischievous kids)
Barbara Walrus (there's something majestic about the way she tilts her head...)
Bryant Gumblow (just perm your hair, don a suit coat & tie, get a big wad of gum and act silly)
Carson Monthly (that's about how often most people watch his show)
Conehead O'Brine Shrimp (their tails mimic his wavy orange hair)
Craig Fergusonofabitch (what Prince Charles calls him)
Craig Stillborn (his show was DOA)
Dan Druthers (if he' had his druthers, we'd be in a rather different place)
David Lettucehead (a scarecrow with a head of lettuce--dude, what were you thinking?)
Diane/Leslie Saw Ya (a la Texas Chainsaw--don't mess with Texas)
Elizabeth Has To Bitch (she just has to--she doesn't know any other way)
Ellen Degenerates (she dances like an ape)
Katie Curate (she's so wholesome) or Curad (bandaged head to foot--reading the news)
Kelly RIP C(h)ord (feels vertigo, thinks "rip cord", reaches over 'n' slashes at Regis' throat)
Martha's Steward(1st her jailkeeper, then parole officer so she can go places like her Vineyard)
Mad Plower (where the heck is he? Oh no, he's coming right at us with a snow plow!)
Oprah Wince Streak (audience reaction if she took her clothes off and ran around the stage)
Rachael Wraith (ghost of meals past--an upset stomach; or the man-eaters of TV Stargate series)
Rosie O'Grady (she belongs in a rowdy Irish pub)
Tiara Banks (she's so exotic) or Tyrannosaurus Banks (fiercely flashing teeth, & all legs)
Walter Conn Smyth (award-winning journalist for giving us the cold, hard facts)
TALK RADIO (NOT POLITICAL)/VARIETY
Garrison Keel Over (sounds like he's been drinking)
George Norway/Noriega ( if the Coast-to-Coast host's voiced stretched North-to-South)
Howard Sternum (where you'd like to punch him)
Ian Pundit (he is what he is)
Linda Molting Owl (intrepid researcher into the moonlit world of the paranormal)
YESTERDAY'S NEWS, BUT COULD RESURFACE
Alien Gonzalez (the child refugee who got sent back--to outer space)
John Marked Card (he deceived everybody about role in JonBenet case)
Natalie Hauled Away (what may have happened to her in Aruba)
*Some celebrities have been active in multiple fields. They are generally listed in the field they've been most prominent in.
Steven (Starjet) Kearney
Monday, December 28, 2009
World Government Democracy: Regional System Proposal
An Open Letter to Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of Great Britain and Barack Obama, President of the USA (Both of whom have called for a stronger, more effective U.N.)
World Government Regional System Proposal
Gentlemen:
The recent Copenhagen climate talks struggled to arrive at any definitive agreement on a matter of great importance to the entire world. The proceedings were full of posturing, finger-pointing and half-hearted promises.
A simple way to form a world governing board would be to give equal weight to each major region of the world. This arrangement should balance the democratic flavor of the UN General Assembly with the leadership character of the UN Security Council.
To arrive at the delineation of regions, it's sensible to model after existing organizations of voluntary affiliation meant for economic, social, cultural, scientific, and diplomatic purposes These include: The African Union (AU), The League of Arab States (AL), The Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN), The Caribbean Community and Common Market (CARI-COM), The Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS), The European Union (EU), and The Organization of American States (OAS).
A careful balancing of a variety of factors leads to something like this for regional groupings of the Earth:
* AmericA—Canada, Greenland, the USA mainland, Bermuda and Mexico.
* LatinA--The Americas from Belize south through Ecuador, including Brazil, and the Islands of the Caribbean.
* ArgenticA--South America from Peru south through Chile/Argentina (all but Brazil), the Falklands and the continent of Antarctica.
* EuropA--Iceland, Scandinavia, The British Isles, most of mainland Europe, Turkey and the Canaries.
* UrsA—Most of Russia, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, the Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Georgia, Armenia, and Azerbaijan.
* ArabianA--Coastal Africa from Mauritania east through Somalia, and the Sinai Peninsula north through Syria and Iraq.
* AfricA--The continent except for part in ArabianA, and Madagascar.
* WestAsiA--India, Nepal, Bhutan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Iran and most of the "-stan" lands.
* EastAsiA--China and the members of ASEAN.
* OceaniA--Australasia, Melanesia, Micronesia and Polynesia.
* JaponicA--Japan, the Koreas, northeast Siberia and Alaska.
That's 11 regions, 6 votes for a majority.
Captain Countries
No individual country within any given region should have more than 50 percent of that region's vote input. The likely 50%ers are USA, Brazil, Argentina, Russia, India, China, Japan and Australia. The regions of AfricA, ArabianiA and EuropA would be coalition-oriented from the get-go. Beyond the 50% rule, the allotment of voting percentages within each region would be guided by formula involving population, land size and value, and other factors.
Such a world governing board would derive strength from the strength of its regions, and would serve as a stepping stone to Earth's inevitable entry into larger realms. If we're going to one day officially interface with extraterrestrials, it helps to have our terrestrial situation in decent order.
Demographics
(Aspects considered in delineating regions include: geography, economy, population, affiliation, ethnicity, belief systems, history, culture, language, geo-politics, diversity, leadership, etc.)
College Football Needs a Playoff System
The current (non-playoff) system is flawed because:
1) Only one of the bowl games is meaningful--the BCS championship game. All the other bowl games are mostly meaningless in terms of determining who's #1. In the prior system (pre-BCS), the winner of any of the top-notch bowl games often had a chance at the title. There was all the excitement of players and fans chanting "we're #1"--hopefully--after winning a major bowl game.
The very term BCS--Bowl Championship Series--is a misnomer. There is no "series"--just 4 meaningless games and one championship game. So at the very least it's deceptive advertising
2) The notion that the current system is the best way to accurately determine the best team in the country is an illusion. Many years there are about half-a-dozen teams from major conferences with zero or one loss. And it's rare that there are exactly two unbeaten teams from major conferences. Yet that's the only scenario in which you can fairly claim that the BCS title game in the present system can settle anything definitively: a match-up of the two and only two unbeatens.
Any time you get two one-loss teams meeting in the BCS title game in the current system, most of the other teams that finish with one loss (presumably after winning a bowl game) have a legitimate beef, particularly if they're the team who beat the title game winner earlier in the year.
Even when a one-loss team beats a previously unbeaten team in the current BCS title game, other one-loss teams that weren't on the previously unbeaten team's schedule can claim that they would have beaten them, too, if given the opportunity, particularly if they're the one who beat the title game winner earlier in the year.
Basically, the only way for the BCS title game--without a playoff system--to produce a reasonably undisputed winner is for there to be one and only one undefeated team at the end. The odds of that are fairly low---probably less than 20%.
For a couple of novel ideas for implementing a playoff system, go to this blog on 1/8/10.
1) Only one of the bowl games is meaningful--the BCS championship game. All the other bowl games are mostly meaningless in terms of determining who's #1. In the prior system (pre-BCS), the winner of any of the top-notch bowl games often had a chance at the title. There was all the excitement of players and fans chanting "we're #1"--hopefully--after winning a major bowl game.
The very term BCS--Bowl Championship Series--is a misnomer. There is no "series"--just 4 meaningless games and one championship game. So at the very least it's deceptive advertising
2) The notion that the current system is the best way to accurately determine the best team in the country is an illusion. Many years there are about half-a-dozen teams from major conferences with zero or one loss. And it's rare that there are exactly two unbeaten teams from major conferences. Yet that's the only scenario in which you can fairly claim that the BCS title game in the present system can settle anything definitively: a match-up of the two and only two unbeatens.
Any time you get two one-loss teams meeting in the BCS title game in the current system, most of the other teams that finish with one loss (presumably after winning a bowl game) have a legitimate beef, particularly if they're the team who beat the title game winner earlier in the year.
Even when a one-loss team beats a previously unbeaten team in the current BCS title game, other one-loss teams that weren't on the previously unbeaten team's schedule can claim that they would have beaten them, too, if given the opportunity, particularly if they're the one who beat the title game winner earlier in the year.
Basically, the only way for the BCS title game--without a playoff system--to produce a reasonably undisputed winner is for there to be one and only one undefeated team at the end. The odds of that are fairly low---probably less than 20%.
For a couple of novel ideas for implementing a playoff system, go to this blog on 1/8/10.
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