Soccer's Scoring Drought: Analysis and Suggested Remedies

With nearly all the teams having played their opening match, it's already clear that the lack of scoring in World Cup soccer has gotten absurd. To illustrate, through the first 14 games in South Africa:

Teams are scoring on average less than a goal per game--.8 of a goal;

In 9 of the 14 games--64%--at least one of the teams failed to score;

In 10 of the 14 games--71%--neither team scored more than 1 goal;

In 12 of the 14 games--86%--no more than 2 total goals were scored by both teams combined;

Only one of the first 28 teams to play scored more than 2 goals in their first game (Germany got 4);

6 games, that's 43%, were ties;

Goal-scoring has become so rare that fluke goals--such as the English goalkeepers fumble and the Danish wrong-way ricochet header--are decisive;

The crowds have so little to cheer about that they resort to blowing on deafening horns en masse to entertain themselves;

The International Soccer Federation (FIFA) is reportedly considering enlarging the goal to boost scoring. However, such a move could have negative repercussions on how the game is played. And it would compel millions of people to redo or replace their goal structures.

There are other ways to make it easier to score. Taking a cue from thoroughbred racing/exercise programs, officials could "handicap" the goalies by fitting them with ankle weights. Or they could enforce penalties by making the goalie wear a patch over one eye or tying one hand behind his/her back. A really heinous violation might be punished by strapping the offending player ball & chain-style to the goalie. While these scenarios may sound like torture, sitting through a typical soccer game today is already a torturous experience for many.

Reference
Increasing Soccer Goal Size is Questionable!!! (website).

Steven (Starjet) Kearney